Wednesday, October 21, 2009

#21 Chub in Skinny Jeans








Standing on a street corner, lit Newport (always, I SWEAR) in hand, chub-in-skinny-jeans wears thick framed lens-less glasses and a pyramid belt to get down and hipster, guzzles tallboys of Bud, and never notices that he possesses a muffin top, accented by a too-tight band t-shirt (and it's usually a really shitty band, no?), sideways trucker hat, and some sort of cord choker situation (hearkening of DB #2, WHAT a recurring theme!). The chub-in-skinny-jeans is usually a huge DOUCHEBAG, proud of the poor souls he's already seduced, and resentful towards the attractive broads he hasn't (they know better). Because of this bitterness he usually points out female imperfections and criticizes dates for "not being hot enough"--seriously lame. In addition, why does the chub-in-skinny-jeans also opt for a severe bootleg some of the time? Clearly they are ladies jeans, as they hug the thigh and flare out at the ankle. What's the point, dude??? M-I-N-I-M-I-Z-E. Or at least buy some straight legs.


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